Claudia tossed the last bit of laundry into the washing machine. She was tired, exhausted in fact. She ached. Her hips ached, her back ached. She felt like she was ninety and she was only forty-one. As she pulled the clothes out of the dryer her mind wandered to thinking about Nathan and her relationship with him. It had gone from being fun, romantic, and comfortable to a grind of holding up his spirit as work drained everything ounce of energy. Yet the lifestyle was good. They had taken some great vacations, had a chalet in the mountains, skiied every year and lived well. Was it worth it?
Did it matter? Her heart felt so exhausted that she couldn’t imagine a future with him in it. She had given it her all and now with the kids, she felt like she was carrying their world and his. His negativity was just too much. His drinking was too much. She felt like she was trying to hold it together for them all and just couldn’t do it anymore. If there were a way to jump to a parallel dimension leaving it all behind she’d be the first to beam up.
But then there were the kids. Being a mom had been the most rewarding thing she had ever done. When she left her full-time job ten years ago she was both relieved and afraid simultaneously. The thought of going back to work was a bit daunting. After ten years, what could she do? Things had changed; her world had changed. How do you plug back in when the world has moved on without you?
A sock dropped. Another sock showed up stuck to a sheet. Do sheets eat socks? She wondered how many socks had been gobbled up by sheets and she’d never noticed. A bag of singles were in their home looking for their mates. Permanently.
As she picked the sock off the sheet static flew; static cling. The electrical shock took her mind back to Nathan. He had given her a lot of static over the years. They’d both decided she should stay at home when Trevor arrived. At first, it worked quite well. Over time, they had both fallen into ruts of expectations for each other; expectations that weren’t being fulfilled. He might be as frustrated as she was for all she knew.
And then there were the kids. Great kids. She felt lucky to have them not withstanding the fact that she had no life. Between driving them here and there she felt like chauffeur, cook, coach, boss and friend all at once and she’d probably left a few roles out.
Maybe she needed to try speaking to Nathan about these things. It had never worked before but now might be different. As the last piece of laundry hit the basket, her mind went back to the task at hand. She picked up the basket full of neatly piled clothes and went to find the kids. It was time to return Shae to her Dad.
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