Seeking Collisions

When Mary O'Hara-Devereaux, in her book Navigating the Badlands, advised growing leaders to seek collisions the idea was not to create destructive conflict. As obvious as this seems apparently the level of disrespect in the workplace would suggest coming at conflict with a clear intention to use it as growth,  not further evidence of the erosion of cooperative working relationships.

Seeking Collisions is really about using conflict to inform how you respond, or react. The distinction between responding and reacting is an important one. Consider what happens when you break out into a rash are directed by the doctor to use a particular ointment. When you apply the ointment, the rash burns and stings so much you must run into the bathroom and wash it off. Apparently you had a bad reaction to the medication. On the other hand, you could have noticed that the rash became less red, swelling reduced and the area affected become smaller. Your doctor would say that you responded well to the medication.

If you are reacting, you are being triggered. It helps to find out what your hot button is made of and what made you react. If you respond, it is critical that you know whether you are repressing anger in the process, or whether you are feeling calm and centered. The whole point of specific relaxation techniques is to facilitate you into that zone where you can respond from a centered and calm state. Your ability to discern and self-manage your ability to respond or react will directly impact your relationships with coworkers, spouse and yourself. Consider investing a bit of time into cultivating your witness - it is your greatest ally.