As a child, I'd stare into the stars searching for answers. Now, global climate change, especially recent earthquakes, inspires us to use our creativity, perceive the whole and engage self-actualization by overcoming adversity. It is a journey that connects us with our spirituality, ability to adapt to a new environment and innate wisdom. Through the unexpected, we are invited to embrace the path to inner peace and higher consciousness.
Each person's well being contributes to the collective consciousness which informs the coherence (balance) of the geomagnetic field of the planet. Learning from your experience with life, becoming aware of how you perceive the world, informs your personal purpose. Diary to Destiny is an account of what I have learned along the way in my personal journey. It talks about what I don't like to talk about, at least not yet. The deep inner mystical, seemingly random experiences reveal insight when linked together. I share it to clear the slate for what might arrive next.
Becoming Aware of Negativity
I managed a staff of ten and they were phenomenal people. I will always be grateful to them for the camaraderie and open communication. It is easy not to stay balanced under pressure, but when people feel fairly treated, there is a respect that helps everyone deal with the unexpected in a relatively calm manner. I also had the privilege of working with staff in forestry offices across the country both in the federal department and in the provincial department. We came together to implement a directive given to us by the politicians. Some think of it as deliberate crazy making. A decision comes down from the political offices that would never withstand public scrutiny and our job was to turn it into a respectable initiative, with integrity, while building a team spirit where people could say what needed to be said. Transparency was essential.
In my inner world, I wasn't always able to hear the message my team was trying to send me. Slowly I became aware that my filters were trained to hear criticism, the negative rather than neutral. I took things personally, was often defensive. I picked up a lot of information emotionally, more than I was aware of at the time. That didn't help but it explains why, even when I was aware, there was little I could do about it.
Eventually I would train my self-witness to notice when my mind had given meaning that didn't accurately absorb the intention of the comment. I would think someone was being critical when they were just putting forth information. On the other hand, I was also hearing what could be just neutral information but it was laden with emotional overtones. Eventually I learned the science of how that works but then, I didn't know what to do about it or what exactly had happened. Part of that was internal to me, and part of it was running back ground in the environment.
Before the unit became independent, there had been an appointment of another senior bureaucrat who randomly came into a meeting with my boss and others and berated me, vented his anger over something intangible. There had been no event, no catalyst for the outburst. For some reason, he pointed his verbal gun at me and fired. He had been imported from National Defence, so I am glad he wasn't holding a real gun but the unprovoked outburst had us all in shock. Though he later apologized at the request of the other senior people in the room, for me, it was a dramatic example of more of the same. I had to wonder what that was really all about. A new Deputy Minister had arrived and he wanted no part of an Anglophone in the communications department, at least not heading it up, and so he began to get rid of me, starting with trying to prove I was incompetent. He had a francophone woman in mind and wanted her in the spot.
Have you ever faced this challenge? Of entering into a working environment that is loaded with hidden agendas, emotional undertones? Noticed the impact on your emotional well being? Or is it just me?