Diary to Destiny

Diary to Destiny #10: Becoming Aware of Negativity

Introduction: 

As a child, I'd stare into the stars searching for answers. Now, global climate change, especially recent earthquakes, inspires us to use our creativity, perceive the whole and engage self-actualization by overcoming adversity. It is a journey that connects us with our spirituality, ability to adapt to a new environment and innate wisdom. Through the unexpected, we are invited to embrace the path to inner peace and higher consciousness.  

Each person's well being contributes to the collective consciousness which informs the coherence (balance) of the geomagnetic field of the planet. Learning from your experience with life, becoming aware of how you perceive the world, informs your personal purpose.  Diary to Destiny is an account of what I have learned along the way in my personal journey. It talks about what I don't like to talk about, at least not yet. The deep inner mystical, seemingly random experiences reveal insight when linked together. I share it to clear the slate for what might arrive next.  

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Becoming Aware of Negativity

I managed a staff of ten and they were phenomenal people. I will always be grateful to them for the camaraderie and open communication. It is easy not to stay balanced under pressure, but when people feel fairly treated, there is a respect that helps everyone deal with the unexpected in a relatively calm manner. I also had the privilege of working with staff in forestry offices across the country both in the federal department and in the provincial department. We came together to implement a directive given to us by the politicians. Some think of it as deliberate crazy making. A decision comes down from the political offices that would never withstand public scrutiny and our job was to turn it into a respectable initiative, with integrity, while building a team spirit where people could say what needed to be said. Transparency was essential.

In my inner world, I wasn't always able to hear the message my team was trying to send me. Slowly I became aware that my filters were trained to hear criticism, the negative rather than neutral. I took things personally, was often defensive. I picked up a lot of information emotionally, more than I was aware of at the time. That didn't help but it explains why, even when I was aware, there was little I could do about it.

Eventually I would train my self-witness to notice when my mind had given meaning that didn't accurately absorb the intention of the comment. I would think someone was being critical when they were just putting forth information. On the other hand, I was also hearing what could be just neutral information but it was laden with emotional overtones. Eventually I learned the science of how that works but then, I didn't know what to do about it or what exactly had happened. Part of that was internal to me, and part of it was running back ground in the environment.

Before the unit became independent, there had been an appointment of another senior bureaucrat who randomly came into a meeting with my boss and others and berated me, vented his anger over something intangible. There had been no event, no catalyst for the outburst. For some reason, he pointed his verbal gun at me and fired. He had been imported from National Defence, so I am glad he wasn't holding a real gun but the unprovoked outburst had us all in shock. Though he later apologized at the request of the other senior people in the room, for me, it was a dramatic example of more of the same. I had to wonder what that was really all about. A new Deputy Minister had arrived and he wanted no part of an Anglophone in the communications department, at least not heading it up, and so he began to get rid of me, starting with trying to prove I was incompetent. He had a francophone woman in mind and wanted her in the spot.  

Have you ever faced this challenge? Of entering into a working environment that is loaded with hidden agendas, emotional undertones? Noticed the impact on your emotional well being? Or is it just me?

 

Diary to Destiny #9: The Escape of Travel

As a child, I'd stare into the stars searching for answers. Now, global climate change, especially recent earthquakes, inspires us to use our creativity, perceive the whole and engage self-actualization by overcoming adversity. It is a journey that connects us with our spirituality, ability to adapt to a new environment and innate wisdom. Through the unexpected, we are invited to embrace the path to inner peace and higher consciousness.  

Each person's well being contributes to the collective consciousness which informs the coherence (balance) of the geomagnetic field of the planet. Learning from your experience with life, becoming aware of how you perceive the world, informs your personal purpose.  Diary to Destiny is an account of what I have learned along the way in my personal journey. It talks about what I don't like to talk about, at least not yet. The deep inner mystical, seemingly random experiences reveal insight when linked together. I share it to clear the slate for what might arrive next.  

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Entry#9

Family dynamics are the testing ground for many things but for me, they tested my self-worth, and self-esteem. So many things I thought were consciously inflicted attempts to wound me weren't. That was a consolation once I figured it out but that took quite a while. As it turns out, I wasn't done with trying to meet expectations, be understood, accepted or approved of. It took another marriage to teach me that.

Feeling rejected by family and desperately seeking some form of nurturing or approval I decided to bail out of normal life and go travelling. By this time I'd been around the world once and then off to Europe, New Zealand and Samoa on separate trips. Travelling was comfortable for me but I was terrified to go alone. The romance that had begun earlier had flourished and so four months after he left for New Zealand I followed in January. The space between was best characterized as a full on Scorpion depression. The good news was that in this period I was able to watch myself spin downward, which meant I had a chance at redirecting that downward fall and avoiding the drop into listlessness. Meanwhile, the boyfriend had found someone else in New Zealand, another Canadian. At least he was honest. I considered not going, but reconsidered and by January flew to New Zealand to meet him. He had convinced me the relationship meant something to him. While my confidence was high my self-esteem was in the gutter. My outlook on life was dim. Freedom was still well beyond my grasp.

We travelled from New Zealand, where we volunteered at an IUCN conference where we signed up to volunteer at the World Parks Congress later on in Bali. From the get-go I knew something wasn't right in the relationship with my boyfriend but my connection to my intuition didn't exist so although I saw the signs I ignored them. I did contemplate leaving and going on my own but didn't have either the strength or the confidence for that big a step at that time. Now, I wouldn't give it a second thought. We made good travelling companions and had a wonderful trip meeting my parents in Bali and enjoying time with them. Anxious to prove to them that I was loveable I picked out an engagement ring for my boyfriend to give to me. While I know he was in agreement, in hindsight it was far too controlling on my part and even at that time didn't feel right. Ignoring my gut instinct I forged ahead, wanting my parents to know that I was in control of my life and that someone really cared and needed me.

While that was true I, for my part, was in need of love and of someone to love. He was a great guy and easy to travel with, sharing many interests. He reminded me of my dad in a lot of ways. I signed up for another long term relationship that, while there was plenty of fun and adventure, it wound up being emotionally brutal. Yet, we shared a great love of the outdoors and travelling. This was what I thought the bond was made of. We married in 1984 after returning from the world trip. I had secured work in Ottawa and went from being an administrative assistant to directing a unit within a federal government department. I had made management unofficially and had a reputation for being highly competent. The fact that I was an Anglophone in Ottawa, where Francophones had preference, was ultimately held against me but meanwhile I poured myself into my work, kept up my riding and partially put the relationship on hold. Strange things happened in this period; things that I noted as odd. I was subject to no end of criticism at home but at work was given more and more responsibility and recognition. Obviously you go to where you are nourished and for me, that was work. 

 

Diary to Destiny #8: Dealing with Death

After splitting from my husband, I left the ranch and moved into an apartment across the hall from my best friend who can read horse's minds and probably other minds as well. She is a brilliant riding instructor, master gardener, educator, administrator and true friend.

On the day we heard the news, my mom was visiting me, attempting to reestablish communication since, when I'd left my husband, my parents had stopped talking to me. My brother phoned commanding me to bring mom to his place. He wouldn't tell me why and he sounded angry. I have never been good at reading instructions or following orders. Mom went without knowing why. After she'd arrived without me I got a second call from my brother who told me, in a state of anger and grief, that our brother had been killed. He was beyond distraught and angry at the world.

I had the strangest reaction. It was as if nothing had happened. I couldn’t tell if I was numb to anything emotional or just knew that he was gone but still here somewhere. I knew he was physically gone but felt no emotion around it. I knocked on the door of my best friend and we had tea on the balcony to give time for the news to sink in. Then I got in my car and drove over to join the family. By the time I got there I felt pretty calm. Later in the shower where many epiphanies show up, I cried my eyes out. I was aware though that I was crying for me, not him. He had gone to a better place. We had been close but in recent years his loyalties had shifted to my brother, who had repeatedly saved his butt, and my ex-husband since they both shared being in the midst of marital difficulties at the time. The last time I saw him he'd gone out the door with my ex and didn't say good-bye. He was lost, seriously lost, unaware of who he was or why he was here. His brilliant sense of humor had turned to biting sarcasm and he had become hard to be around. Like me, he had undoubtedly absorbed much negativity from his environment without being aware of it and had no way of processing it. I had my horses and the woods, both of which I knew helped me cope with day to day existence.

On a beautiful winter day in the same year I was out for a walk and clearly heard my brother, who had died in the fall, calling his dog, a four-year old German Shepherd named Kip. It was as clear as a bell. The following spring when I was away travelling, Kip stopped eating. They took her to the vet but there was absolutely nothing wrong with her. She just died. Bizarre. Until I wrote this out and put all the events together I didn't see the relationship. Now I wonder if he hadn't called her over to whatever dimension he was now residing on. I'll never know. Life feels like random unrelated events until you connect the dots and see the whole picture. 

 

Diary to Destiny#7: Is Energy Real?

Though "Is energy real?" might sound like a silly question, based on my experience with the dowsing of the body's energy field, something could be real enough but not accepted as valid because it was unfamiliar and new. So a real experience could be filed as invalid because it was believed to not be possible and therefore it must not be real. We've seen this in human history before regrettably and it continues in conversations about climate change and global warming.

The idea that we are made of energy made sense. Otherwise, how would we get up in the morning? Yet, only strong, emotionally held beliefs had currency. Emotion determined reality and it didn't mix with new information. Denial said so. I learned to go underground with what I could see. Expressing myself in front of naysayers, which could be anyone in an audience, was terrifying.

By 1980 I knew I was in trouble with the marriage but couldn't face dealing with it. I quit teaching and was caretaking and living on a ranch full-time. I loved it but was also bored even though I was riding and working with my true love: horses. The same year we went to New Zealand and Samoa and, in partnership with my then husband, started the first kite store in the city. I suspect I was very negative and afraid about things. It seemed that everyone now expected me to get pregnant and support the husband. I had no interest in signing up for that path and began to feel suffocated and trapped. Things came to a head when I was offered an opportunity to work on environmental education for parks… a dream job for me. I was so excited!! The announcement of the job offer ran smack into a wall of resistance, the rationale was that I was supposed to have a child and stay at home. It was likely not put in those precise terms but that was the underlying message.

So now, at least the expectation was clear. I had spent four years in university so I could stay home and have a child. It didn't add up. I knew I wanted to contribute beyond that. When I went deep inside all I could see was feeling trapped in a life that wasn't mine. I couldn't do it. I left.

I still had some travelling to do and wanted to be free to explore. After years of trying to meet expectations, I gave up trying. Suffocation was the inevitable outcome. A romance was brewing with a colleague at work and a month and a half later my brother was killed. 

 

Diary to Destiny#6: Learning to Lay Low

The same visitor who demonstrated levitation in my living room also showed me how to detect auras or a person's energy field, though I didn't know it as that then. Years later I learned that the technique he used was dowsing, often used in eastern Europe and more often associated in North America with searching for water. The technique is simply a vehicle for measuring vibration or energy (containing information) as it channels through your intuition.

So naively I went off to school and in the privacy of the staff room shared the information with the principal and vice-principal. I only spoke of the energy field around the human body since this seemed most relevant to the educational setting. This is where I learned about the power of belief as a filter for perception. It was labeled as witchcraft… I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't an aggressive knee-jerk reaction. To me, this was just information. I had completely underestimated the role of fear and the power of belief. It wouldn't be the first time. In the decade 2000, the electromagnetic field measurable around humans would be documented by the Heart Math Institute but then, it was heresy.

The principal tried to get me fired, a move intercepted by the assistant superintendent who knew there was no basis. This is how I learned about right-wing thinking. Oddly, it was perfectly acceptable that one of the teachers was having an open affair with one of the teachers' aides. Morally it was alright for an open affair to be going on in the school, one that even the students knew about but not acceptable to introduce unfamiliar information. Go figure.

The whole thing made no sense no matter how many ways I looked at it. I decided that it was fear of the unknown. To provide some intellectual support for why this information made sense and was possible, I called the university to inquire about research into energy fields, levitation and so forth. That was met with a resounding condemnation of so much new age hooey, though I doubt they called it that then. This too was a bit of a shock yet I wasn't surprised. It seemed quite plausible to me that there are things in our lives that are unseen, undetected, that inform our relationships and tell us more about who we are. Finally, somehow I was referred to Kirilean photography which showed the energy flowing out of fingers. Anxious to share this information I did and ran into the idea of 'if I don't believe it, it isn't valid'.

I learned from this experience, and others, to keep my head down. Unknowingly, my strategy switched from freely sharing information to finding out what the current thinking was then try to stay within those boundaries. In order to be accepted, all sorts of compromises get made. Slowly I became more skeptical and quickly judged what was or wasn't possible, based on little to no real data. It was better to be approved of and accepted than be 'right'. Inside myself, I knew that if I stayed open and receptive, unusual things could happen. Eventually, I'd forget this as well and would have to relearn being open and learn to trust. 

 

Diary to Destiny #5: Trying to be Normal

At nineteen I married my Grade 12 boyfriend. It was way too early but I honestly felt that if I didn't say yes to this man another one wouldn't come along. Of course I cared about him. Was it love? Who knows at 19? There were societal expectations that you graduated from high school, married and then had a family. I was living up to those expectations though inserted university and was fairly certain that I didn't want kids.

Hindsight and reflection are great. Looking back, my self-esteem was low. I felt numb and worthless on the inside. There had been one man I'd met who was really interesting and interested in me. This happened long before the marriage. His name was Jim and I felt special in his company. I also just felt so unworthy of someone like that, I backed away. He was fun and respectful. I was afraid and later sorry that I wasn't more ready for that kind of experience. I came to understand much later that part of me was emotionally traumatized. I'd hidden and repressed those emotions for years. Even later, when I learned that I am highly sensitive, it became evident that I had absorbed much of other peoples energies and didn't have a grip on who I was. Unfortunately I didn't give him much of a chance though had I been in better emotional shape, it would have been good to explore who he was and what might have been.

There were parties and all sorts of odd events typical of the seventies. The most interesting people came through my life. One taught levitation. His entire group of groupies arrived at the country farmhouse we had rented. When they left things were missing. This was the seventies after all so what was yours was mine too. The experience with levitation was not with the group though. It took place when there were three of us in the room: me, the visitor, and a close friend of mine who had offered to participate. He bent her rather inflexible body into a V shape. It didn't leave the ground but hit a one-point position that was completely impossible for her to achieve on her own. Yoga masters today might be able to come close. After he explained that the only reason he could do it while I was in the same room was because I was open. It hadn't occurred to me that levitation was impossible. As far as I was concerned, anything could happen. 

 

Diary to Destiny Journal

I watched for the second time, Leonardo DiCaprio's film The 11th Hour. I first saw it in Los Angeles when it was released and needed to refresh my memory on its primary messages. The one that is most pertinent to this diary, is the reality that we made up a story; one that says that man is above nature and not a part of the web. One that said that exploitation was wiser than learning from nature which, as author Janine Benyus put it, has 3.8 billion years of learning how to stay in sustainable equilibrium against our paltry 500 years when the industrial era initiated the trajectory we can now alter. So, if we made up a story that has proven to be destructive, why can we not create, in true shamanic style, one with a better ending? I remember thinking, when I first saw The 11^th Hour that I had accidentally discovered insights into the actions that would help humanity reach the deeper potential held within.

As riders in this overarching process of evolution, at last the consequences of our beliefs are evident. It is all about us? No. But how we handle the next period of time certainly is. We are the dominant species and it is our actions which has comprised earth's capacity for resilience. Through earthquakes, natural disasters, climate change, global warming, and questions around water, energy and food, we are being called to become very innovative; explore old beliefs about how the world, and in particular, the economic tenants guiding how prosperity is sourced in order to restore and renew balance and abundance for all Life.

With the planetary shake-ups, many rationalize their fears as justified – while momentarily comforting it is not the answer. The Global Coherence Project articulates the evidence that, by gaining control of our emotional state, we can assist the planet's state of coherence. What we have before us is the option of exploring our multi-dimensional natures to become more whole beings, and gain higher consciousness matched equally by compassion for ourselves and for those who have touched our lives in some way. It requires a commitment to learning from life's experiences, life's interruptions, and extending care, compassion and love; overriding doubt, fear, and judgment received or perceived.

So this is my journey… far from complete. It is not until I began stringing experiences together chronologically, that I began to realize what mystical events had taken place. My mind is powerful but also open. Still, to say it has been a joy ride would be an outright lie. Nevertheless, I feel more prepared than ever before to serve others in the process of making sense of what is going on around them and to participate in the co-creation of the world we want to live in: one characterized by peace, abundance, respect and compassion.  Welcome to my diary, a series of reflections and journal entries documenting the inner journey. May you know you are not alone. 

 

Diary to Destiny #4: Where did I Come From?

I always had the sense that I didn’t really belong to my biological family. There just didn't seem to be a fit. On the other hand, I didn’t really know where I belonged. So I endeavored to live life according to societal beliefs and the timeline that says what you are supposed to do when and who you should be. It didn’t work very well on the inside. It looked great on the outside though. I know it fooled a lot of people.  I went to university, got married, had a career, got bored, felt empty, got divorced, brother died, went travelling, got married, got a different career, had a child, got divorced and so on. Ultimately, it occurred to me that I could have replaced marriage with dating, though even that terrified me. The societal expectation route wasn't working for me. I had felt lonelier inside a relationship than outside of it. That wasn't a good sign. In my early years, I used a relationship for security but after marital meltdown number two, that was over. I had some serious healing and rethinking to do.

I felt most connected to myself when I was with nature. Sitting quietly watching birds swim, lying on the back of my horse reading a book, canoeing on the lakes of the far north, kayaking in the Baja, sitting alone on the base of the forest floor watching a Pileated Woodpecker intently dig a massive hole into a tree trunk or laughing at a crow jogging down the street, or a hummingbird checking out my red shirt. Animals and birds alike made me laugh through their interactions and expressions. My horse always made me feel at peace. In the hours I spent with Tom Dooley we invented a few private in-jokes and games that kept us both amused. One of them showed up in the movie, Shanghai Noon.

I knew I was sensitive to violence and horrific images. Just couldn't watch shows like that. When I did, they replayed forever in my dreams, or in flashes. It never made sense to me why you'd see a show like that when you just had to turn on the news to see drama and tragedy. I took everything to heart and so was deemed 'gullible' meaning if someone pitched me a good sob story, I fell for it. I wanted to help everyone.

I also noticed when people saw something in me I didn't. Like the random chats with people I barely knew sharing their life story with me and seeking my advice. They showed more trust in me than I had in myself. Or the young woman who walked into my office and asked me to help her change her life, when I thought I was consulting for a living. She paid me what she paid her psychologist and told me she got further far faster. Who knew? Or a trainee in a leadership program who, in the visioning section, wrote a beautiful letter explaining how I was the vision for an exemplary person. At the time, I felt far from that. I felt more than inadequate so her words were like the missive of an angel coming to remind me that I had value. My outer world looked one way and my inner world felt another.

I had always felt more comfortable with animals than with humans. Animals made sense to me. They had a natural intelligence that I appreciated along with a great sense of humor and play. They didn't sort everything into fear though of course each knew who was predator and who was potential prey. Yet they were able to detect intention, when killing and eating was in the mind of a predator or not. Stories of coyotes playing with grizzlies or of a polar bear coming every day to play with a tethered dog team told me that there was an intelligence that we either refused to acknowledge or to see. Animals seem to have a capacity for discernment that we humans lacked, mostly because our focus was on fear and avoiding risk.

During moments in my childhood, I began sensing that I was not only a participant in life but also an observer. I noticed subtle cues, mostly emotional and filed them away not real sure why or what their significance was. That would show up later. Meanwhile, I sought understanding, love and acceptance in no particular order. 

 

Diary to Destiny#3: Reflections on Emotional Intensity and LOA

It has occurred to me that the intense emotions that used to hijack me on the thought of specific memories is gone. Events that used to traumatize my heart are now viewed and experienced from an emotionally detached and objective place. I cannot retrieve the intensity because it isn't there anymore. We used to run exercises in our leadership courses which took participants (or coaching clients) back to a place where something had gone badly wrong or wonderfully right. In either instance, the body's sensations expressed the emotions of the memory. I can't go back to a poor or happy memory and physically embody the emotions. My stomach doesn't tighten up, nor do my legs turn into jelly. The triggers are, for the most part, gone. And when they do show up, it gives me something to clear; to reexamine what lies at the source of the emotion, realize the value, and then extend compassion to all. Now that the old emotional charge isn't clogging up my body's hard drive, I have more energy.

I ran into a lot of tough situations fully aware that while it was easy for people to make me the bad guy or blame someone else, we are all connected so dismissing and cutting off someone because you disagreed, ignores the inter-connectivity and learning opportunity. Yet, to cope, I often did just that. Drama became the addiction du jour in my personal life.

Given that my profession was facilitation, I knew that I couldn't lead others through the elephants under the table, or through verbal abuse or tough issues unless I had transmuted similar situations myself. Somehow I had to make sense of the most bizarre situations. In the aftermath I'd vent the confusion: "What was that all about?" as a way to process and make sense of the experience. Men probably don't so this. Yet the emotions do go somewhere and, if Joseph Pearce Chilton is right, show up as aggression or worse, violence. Sometimes the underlying understanding emerged clearly and sometimes my task was simply to accept the experience as an insight into the state of the human condition, without blame or judgment,  at least in the long term.

I wasn't always successful. It is always easier to blame someone else for how they 'make you feel' rather than invest in the inner work to realize you aren't a victim of your feelings; you are the master of them. Later, I realized that made me feel anything. I may not like their communication style or their words may have triggered past traumas, but I held the power to choose how I responded. The less emotional charge I carried about past wounds the less chance there was of me being 'triggered' by anything anyone said, how they said it or what they did. It didn't and doesn't make me immune to nastiness targeted at me, but it does help me retain compassion, composure in the moment.

As my knowledge about what makes us all human expands along with my consciousness, it became easier to shift perspective and see through another person's eyes. This came in handy for empathy but also for being able to forgive in situations where I felt unfairly attacked and blamed, to being able to perceive with unsettling accuracy, what lay dormant, invisible and unresolved. Forgiveness and compassion are essential companions in volatile territory.

The Law of Attraction doesn't work for me though by all intensive measure it should. Yet extension of trust and faith does, accompanied by acceptance of what life presents and being grateful for every moment. In the end, I know nothing about what will happen tomorrow despite my efforts to see into the future or to will it to come to me. Tracing the evolution of the journey has been instructive, as the pieces fall coherently into place and the emergence of my own spiritual intelligence balances the intellectual forces that I had relied on so much. 

 

Diary to Destiny#2: Personal growth, perception, inner work.

If it weren't for the supporting cast in the movie called 'My Life', it would have been pretty boring. Without all the people who have touched my life, for better or worse, I would never have had the inspiration or been instigated to rise above what was place in front of me. So my path, 'marga' in Sanskrit, is all mine. Everyone's is different because we are each unique in what we can contribute. Each person's personal purpose or intent guides their destiny or fate depending on how it is perceived or believed. All I can do is share my journey, my perceptions, my inner process and reactions because, though they were catalyzed by outer events, they were and are the podium for my transcendence and personal transformation. If I trace the arc, I have gone from child to victim to recovering self-esteem, peace and power – along with a much higher consciousness and perspective on the world. I went from being mystified by humanity to judgment to having compassion, as often as possible. While some have dedicated themselves to saving the wildlife of the planet before we consume them as well, my emerging sense of purpose was to assist humanity, through shifting consciousness, to understand their role in the web of life. Only from a progressive sense of clarity and restoration of personal power could we collectively make more intelligence life giving decisions. Sounds clear now but I wish the mission had been that clear from the beginning. Instead it was foggy. Yet the journey through the fog to greater clarity isn't unique to me.

The evolutionary arcs we have traversed as a species is marked by a micro look at my own journey I suspect. Guess we'll find out. I hesitated in writing it out, afraid of judgment. So consider this my private journal. May others gain comfort that their life's experiences have a value far exceeding the mystery of the moment. The support and pressure to evolve, to shift to a state of freedom and heart-centered peace has never been stronger, accelerating the journey and paving the way, in part, for those who follow to a more fulfilled life, free of drama and full of love and a more respectful relationship with the planet which, quite frankly, doesn't need us.

I thought I'd been put on the planet to go to school, get my degree, have a career and get married. I wasn't sure about the children part of societal prophecy but everything else was pretty straightforward. Educators, at that time, had decided that women, if they weren't homemakers, were eligible to become nurses, teachers, and secretaries. Thank goodness that has changed.  I did my best to live up to society's expectations but in the end, I fell off the conventional wagon to become a 'free spirit'. As I look around at those whose paths took a totally different course, more likely considered successful, I realized that the timing for self-discovery is different for us all. That put a stop to me convincing others to join me on my path and to allowing them to chose their own. It also helped me stop 'rescuing' those whose path looked and was fairly self-destructive.

Perception is a personal matter so let me make it clear that this information is just that-information. It is a record of my journey. For a long time I felt it necessary to explain myself thinking understanding would help. When someone needs to be right, they don't care what the truth is from my point of view. So now, I don't care. We all have the opportunity to expand connection to ourselves and Spirit through our life's experience. Respect for the various paths is a basic principle.